Why I Chose to Serve a Mission and Why I Came Home

Hey guys!! As you can see, todays topic is a bit more on a serious note. I want to talk about something that I get asked frequently about. That is, why I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and why I came home early. So buckle up, and get ready for a ride.

Let me start out for those of you, who are not members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In my church, we have the option to serve a mission. So at the age of 18 - 25, men are able to serve a mission that lasts for two years. For women, you are able to serve a mission starting at the age of 19 with no age limit. What this means, is that you are sent anywhere in the world (no, you do not get to choose) and you do missionary work. You serve people, you preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, you convert souls. All of this, you do voluntarily. It’s a good thing, really.

Okay, so now we know what a mission is, so it makes sense for everyone. So, growing up, my parents never expected me or even pushed me to serve a mission. For this, I was really grateful. However, I received a lot of pushing and expectations from other people in my church and my extended family. This, I did not like. It actually caused me to have a lot of resentment towards the church and the people in it. At this point, I didn’t know the difference between the gospel, what is being taught, and the imperfect people who teach it.

I was always taught, that the only way to a happy life is to go serve a mission and then come home and immediately get married and start a family. Well, I didn’t believe this, nor did I want either of those things. So, I was spiteful. I decided that I was not going to serve a mission and most importantly, I was going to leave the church as soon as I turned 18. Good riddance, wash my hands, set it on fire (for legal reasons this is a joke), I was done.

Sidebar before I go on with the story, I do want to mention that I’ve always known there is a God. I don’t think I’ve ever doubted that for a second, I just found too much fault in the people. I always could not see how I fit into the church, and the plan of God.

Then, a lot of things happened at once that sort of changed that. The very first thing, was that a friend took the time to share his testimony with me. It was nothing fancy, but it softened my heart a little. Then, I began to be more open about the church. Nothing else, just less annoyed. Then, I was humbled because I pissed off a lot of people at school and I felt completely alone. My friends were mad at me, I didn’t want to talk to my parents, I was mad at my sisters. I felt alone. So I turned to God. But this isn’t one of those stories where I was changed over night. No sir, I didn’t feel any different for months. I began to doubt that there was even a God. Then he spoke to me. Not directly, but through angels that came in the form of people. I had a really good friend who found me when I was lonely, angry, and broken. What did she do? She was kind. She is also a member, and was one of the only few people my age who really made an effort to make me feel included. This was a big thing for me, and she really helped me grow closer to God. God sent me another angel, who happened to be my youth leader. He made a big difference in making feel included, understood, and appreciated. His example, and kindness really allowed me to soften my heart and realize that there really are good people who simply want good things for you.

With all of these experiences and angels, I began to feel that maybe I should serve a mission. So I prayed about it. The answer I received was go. I said, “no.” So I continued on making a life plan for myself. Then, I decided to pray about it again. The same answer came, go. Still, I said no. Over my dead body was I going on a mission. So, I applied to schools. I got accepted into Arizona State University in the major that I wanted, marketing. I went and toured the campus, and it felt good. I even got a $15,000 yearly scholarship. I was thinking, how could everything be falling into place if I was meant to serve a mission? But then, I humbled myself and I asked a third time. This time, I meant it that I would really follow the will of God. For the third time, he said go.

This was of course hard for me to hear because this was not what I wanted. I filled out my paper work, and I told Arizona State to save my spot and scholarship, that I would be back. The night that I sent in my mission papers, I prayed again and said “Lord, I told you I would do this, but I am only going if you send me to the south of France.” Well then, a couple weeks passed and I finally got my mission call. I actually got it in the airport on my way to Hawaii. When we arrived, I finally read it. I got called to serve in the France Lyon Mission. This covers the south of France and the French part of Switzerland. I could not believe that he actually sent me where I wanted to go, but I could also not believe that it was becoming a reality.

So I began to get myself prepared for my mission. As the days went by, I grew more and more depressed at the thought of giving up everything I wanted to go and do this. Everything, between the time I received my call to the time that I left, seemed to take a wrong turn. Nothing was going right, and I was filled with fear and anxiety. Then, the Lord sent me one more angel. I reached out to a family member that I know that served a mission with the hopes that I could relate to why they left. But I couldn’t, and in frankness it didn’t help me at all. However, they referred me to someone else who also had walked the path I planned to take. This was the angel that the lord sent me. This person told me how they also gave up the dreams and plans that they had to go and do this, even though they too were upset with it. There were also a bunch more things that they said, that I knew was a specific message that I needed to hear. I know that because if it were not for them, I would have not gone.

So as we all know, I went. I won’t get into details about what happened while I served or the struggles I faced in this post. But I do know that I was meant to go France and Switzerland. I learned things about myself, God, and the world that I could have never imagined. It was not always sunshine and rainbows though. I had my bad days, and there were many days when I wanted to call it quits and go home. But each time I felt like this, I got a message from the Lord saying just a little bit longer.

I would like to acknowledge that when I say the Lord gives me answers or speaks to me. I simply mean that it comes in thoughts that bring me peace, or good feelings. I am in no way, shape, or form saying that God comes down from the heavens and spoke to me face to face. That would be cool, but that isn’t what happened. I just received personal revelation or things that brought me peace.

After serving 14 months, I moved to a town called Gex. It is on the outskirts of Geneva Switzerland. When I arrived here, something felt very different. I no longer got the feeling that I needed to hold on a little longer. In fact, I got the impression that the work the Lord had sent me to do was done. That I had completed the mission that I was sent on. So with these impressions, of course began to wonder if it was time to be called home. So, I asked the Lord if I should return home. He told me yes. He told me to go. After growing up being told that a mission was two years and only two years, I was confused. So I continued to stay serving. I stayed for another month, when I asked the question again. To which, I got a reply it’s time to go.

I wrestled with this response because I was afraid of the judgement that family, friends, and fellow church members were going to bring upon me. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I was afraid that I would lose some of the great relationships that I had gained during my time there. Then, I remembered a saying that has profoundly been imprinted in my mind by my mother. “The most important relationship in your life, is your relationship with God.” When these words came to my head, I realized that if the Lord wanted me to go home, then all will be well. After all, he is the opinion I need to care about.

So I came home. As simple as that. Nothing big. The Lord told me it was time. The relationships that I worried about are still intact. Those people love me for me. Coming home, was hard because I could feel that people didn’t understand why. They didn’t understand what was happening or they didn’t agree with it. I struggled to understand why I was to come home. It was mentally draining for the rest of the year.

Now, I know that people still don’t understand. I know that there are still people who don’t agree with the decision that I made. However, I know now why I needed to come home. The Lord had use of me here, in Texas. I know now that He loves me whether I serve two years, 14 months, or not at all. He knows my heart. He knows my intentions. It doesn’t matter what others think because he already knows.

My mission was one of the best experiences for my life. It wasn’t the most pleasant. It wasn’t the most fun. I would NEVER do it again. But I got the most important thing out of it: an understanding of my personal relationship with God and how I fit into his plan. Rarely does life ever work out the way that you want it to. But I know without a doubt in my mind, life will always work out the best way possible for you personally. You just have to learn to trust the process.